Posts Tagged ‘fears’

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Improving Your Public Speaking

June 27th, 2010

Public speaking has become something so terrifying that the mere mention of it can cause a person to grow sick. Even people who spoken several times can freeze up on stage or lose their train of thought due to fear. In order to become a more competent speaker, it is important to follow several steps.

The first thing one can do is to get to know the audience. Is this a speaking engagement at a convention for young professionals, or a presentation for a management class? The audience should determine the tone used by the speaker. A speaker should always speak in a way that will be effective in reaching the audience. All jokes or slang should be sensitive to the type of audience present. What is said to the board of directors should be entirely different from what is said to a group of preschoolers.

Another aspect of knowing the audience is understanding the occasion and what that means when it comes to attire. Dressing in a way that the audience will see as tasteful is important. As a speaker, it’s always better to be slightly overdressed, than underdressed. A speaker should not wear gaudy jewelry that will jingle with every gesture of the hand or draw attention away from what is being said. Women should avoid wearing low-cut blouses. Speakers should wear clothes that are flattering but will not draw attention. The audience should focus on the speaker’s face and concentrate on his words. This means if long hair or bangs are constantly falling into the eyes they should be pulled back. Tucking hair behind the ears every five minutes gives an unprofessional impression as well and will irritate the audience.

Perhaps one of the most important things that can be done while speaking, is giving eye contact. A speaker that looks only at the floor or stares with a lost expression at the back of the room, gives the impression of a terrified and trapped animal. A speaker can put the audience at ease, and make them think she’s confident, by giving good eye contact. This does not mean staring at only two or three individuals. Eye contact should be distributed across the room evenly.

Public speaking can be an exciting adventure. Practicing these tips will prepare one to speak in front of large crowds without a problem. Touring America due to speaking engagements can happen without the usual worry and anxiety. The next thing the new speaker will want to do is install a home security system to keep her house safe when she’s gone.

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categories: Public speaking,speeches,fears,tips,advice,outlines,audiences,attire,dress,adventure,eye contact,how to be confident,self help,security

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Face and Conquer Your Fears

June 22nd, 2010

What is fear anyway? In my humble opinion, all fears are hypothetical trepidations of uncertain events or happenings in the future. It’s simple as that. Think about it—we are afraid of something that has not yet happened. We create a situation of what we think my happen to us, and we become fearful of the illusionary outcome. Is it logical to fear what has not happened?

Fear is the psychological, emotional and physiological response to our thoughts of a situation. Fear evokes our most basic of all responses: fight or flight. Some fears, of course, are very healthy. For example, when your safety or well-being is at risk. But even safety related fears could cause more problems than the problem itself! Fear can lead to panic, and panic can cloud your mind and paralyze you. This fear/panic reaction is the downfall of most people in dangerous circumstances and not the result of the situation itself. People who train themselves to control these fear-based reactions in stressful and dangerous situations are more able to deal with them appropriately.

More commonly, it is the everyday fears of the future that paralyze people into not taking action to move forward with their lives or peruse their dreams. Some of the more common future related fears are: fear of not being good enough; fear of rejection; fear of failure; fear of being embarrassed; feelings of guilt and fear of being isolated.

We must learn to welcome these fears and face them head on. Become familiar with what keeps you back, and learn to overcome fear-based reactions by changing your thought processes. When you are able to do this, you can easily move past fear-based thinking and embrace the future.

Redirecting fears to thoughts of empowerment. Let’s try a very effective process that many others and myself have used successfully to move past fears. Think of these most common life fears:

Not being Good Enough: Not necessarily being a failure, but being inadequate and not up to standard. Some people fear, although accomplishing their tasks, they look bad while doing it.

Not being Accepted (rejection): A lot of people are afraid of being rejected. They fear that family, friends and society will discard their ideas, dreams and aspiration as silly or not worthwhile.

Not Succeeding (failure): Of course, the fear of failing and not being able to do what you set out to accomplish.

Being Embarrassed: People are in fear of being humiliated.

Guilt: People feel guilty or are made to feel guilty by those nay-Sayers and un-achievers they are leaving behind.

Being Isolated: The fear of being alone with no support as you venture out of your comfort zone and circle of friends.

When we can place all our fears into several identifiable categories, we can then begin to redirect our mid-set to thoughts of encouragement, empowerment and support. Let’s take the above six fears and change the way we think about them:

Try changing Not being Good Enough to At Least I’m Doing Something: Change Not being Accepted to I am Unique and Creative: Change Not Succeeding to I am Happy Doing My Best and Trying: Instead of Being Embarrassed; Always Laugh at Yourself First: Change Feeling Guilty to I’m Deserving of all That Comes My Way: Transform Feeling Isolated to Being in Transition to a Newer, Better Place:

This process will work for any and all fears you have associated with future events, whether it is work, family or personal related. Identify the fear, and simply look at the positive side. The things you look at will seem different if you change the way you perceive at them. Change the thoughts of fear and negativity to ones of optimism and success, and watch your life blossom.

Falling prey to self-generated fears will only keep you in a place of frustration and mediocrity. Change fear-based thinking to feelings of empowerment and self-confidence in your ability to control and create your own destiny. Know that fears are illusionary and created by thought. You have the ability to direct you own thinking. Choosing to face the uncertainty of the future head on with enthusiasm and vigor will propel you past your fears and into a life of happiness and success.

Dave Ferruolo is the Author of “Connecting with the Bliss
of Life: Powerful Lessons for Living a Peaceful and Happy
Life.” He is an inspirational and motivational speaker,
success coach, consultant and spiritual counselor. Dave is
a former Navy SEAL, and he runs several business in central
New Hampshire. For more detailed information on Dave’s
books and services, visit his website at
http://www.daveferruolo.com .

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Finding the Source of Your Fears and Overcoming Them

June 12th, 2010

Finding the Source of Your Fear

Any problem cannot be resolved unless you get to the source of the problem. The same is the case with your fears. If you are serious about getting rid of those fears and lead a more rewarding life free of fears, then you have to take care of this step before you proceed any further.

Why is finding the source of your fear important? Identifying the triggers of your fears will help you either manage, eliminate, or combat them. Regardless of the type of fear you have, there is always a source that triggers it. Hence, you can take the time to list down your fears and their level of intensity. Then, take note about environmental, emotional, or other factors that could trigger that fear. This will help you trace the source of your fear. Aside from external triggers, make sure that you also consider the internal triggers. Was there something in your past that created this emotional responses? It is basically as simple as asking yourself, “Why am I afraid?”!

Another important reason why finding the source of your fear is of essential is that it enables you to assess whether it is something that you can manage and control on your own, or whether you need professional help.

Getting Started

If you want more success in overcoming your fears, then you need to take the initiative so you can get proper help for whatever fears or anxieties that consume you. Here are tips to get you started on the right track:

• Remain positive. Fears that produce negative impact are also triggered by negative thoughts and outlook in life. Therefore, you must try to brush aside those negative ideas from your mind and prevent yourself from feeling depressed.
• Communicate with your internal self. There is no better person who knows about your fears than you do. So, you need to create awareness about your fears by identifying them and breaking them down into more manageable parts.
• Assess your fears. Some fears are irrational and often takes place in the mind of the person instead of actual reality.

Overcoming Your Fears

The importance of learning how to overcome your fears is rather obvious. No one wants to live their life in constant worry or fear, no matter how intense it may be. An anxiety-free life is one that provides more opportunity for growth and liberates you.

Here are basic techniques that you can try if you want to find relief from your fears or totally eliminate them:

*Visualization
*Gather facts
*Get professional help

Visualization

Take time each day to find a place where you can be isolated and be able to concentrate. Your objective is to transport yourself in a low stress situation wherein you have control over your fear, instead of the other way around. Imagine your fear as a concrete object that you destroy. You will never realize how it is able to calm you down.

Gather Facts

Most fears are caused by the unknown or people’s inability to have control over a given situation. When you are suffering from certain types of fear, you need to look into the reality of the situation and gather information that you can. The more facts you have in hand, the less you become stressed about your situation because you always know you can manage it.

Professional Help

If you are one of those people who are too afraid to perform self-talk or confront their fears head-on, then it is best to seek professional help. They will start by assessing your fears and then suggest techniques that you can employ to combat those fears. Overcoming fears is often a long process, so don’t expect to get rid of all your fears (if you have many) at once.

 

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Overcoming Childhood Fears

June 2nd, 2010

About Childhood Fears

Fear affects anyone regardless of age. However, children are more prone to develop fears because they scope of understanding about society and things in general is still quite limited. The same also applies to their reasoning capacity in terms of identifying what is rational or irrational. Which is also the reason why childhood fears are often cited as irrational fears because they are mostly products of the mind and are not legitimate forms of fear where the feeling could create its source from.

One thing that everyone needs to understand though is that developing fear is completely normal. Some can develop at an early age or later in life, but they are always triggered by events or encounters in one’s life. Whether it is caused by something you experienced yourself or have not but creates a certain level of fear, then it is important to identify where the source of fear is. These are what is referred to as rational fears. Irrational fears, on the other hand, are more commonly known as childhood fears since they are not triggered by actual material world and are often imaginary.

Since they are usually produced by your mind, then overcoming them could entail more work. Some say it is an effect caused by the development of a child’s mental and emotional activity, as well as exposure to new people or environment. However, a few also insist that childhood fears must be conquered as it can potentially be harmful and limiting for the child.

How Do You Overcome Them?

Most individuals who suffer from childhood fears do not rely learn to let go of that fear and as a result carry that fear with them even when they’re grown up. This level of fear is often categorized as childhood trauma though, and can be caused by extremely disturbing events in his or her childhood years.

But whether you are still a child going through these fears or an adult who has not completely overcome these fears, then it is not yet too late to look for ways to free yourself off these fears. One way to get started is to realize the extent of your fear and devise ways in which you can relieve the burden.

Here are two effective ways to face and conquer childhood fears.

Confronting Fears

Recognizing fears is your first step towards finding overcoming it. Unless you identify the source of your fears, you will never be able to find a solution or treatment for it. Since most childhood fears are irrational, it is best to talk about it with your friends or family members. Talking enables you to release any emotional burden that you experience as an effect of these childhood fears. Though it seem rather easy, talking about your childhood fears to other people is never easy. However, you need to be open with this idea in order to relieve any tension.

Seeking Professional Help

If you are not open to the idea of discussing your fears with family or friends, then seeking professional help is the best step towards overcoming childhood fears. Psychological experts are equipped with the proper training and knowledge that would help people suffering from fears and traumas to release their fears. You can also benefit from seeking psychological help in order to deal with your childhood issues and let go of any fears that you had to deal with over the years.

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Understanding The Normal Fears Before Undergoing Surgery

May 19th, 2010

Having surgery can be a very frightening prospect. Aside from the actual surgery the aftermath can be pretty frustrating too. You may have a painful incision site, the extra task of dealing with special bandages, keeping the area dry and more. This can turn out to be a very frustrating ordeal.

After a surgery the fear of infection is always present and can be very stressful. Knowing what you need to look for in order to avoid this will reduce you post-surgery stress and prevent a life altering terrible experience.

Infection: This is what people fear the most. Infections that occur after surgeries happen at the rate of five hundred thousand per year out of twenty-seven million. These after surgery infections can either be at the place of the incision itself or even in your blood. When you have an infection in your blood you will feel malaise; tired, down and feeling like there has got to be something wrong.

Fever will most likely occur with each type of infection. If the would itself is infected however you will feel one, a few, or all of the following signs. The area will feel hot, it will swell, fluid such as pus will begin to drain from the incision, it will turn red and most likely pain is going to develop and it will hurt more as time goes on.

If you find yourself having any of these signs you must immediately go to your doctor’s office, the emergency room or an urgent care facility to be treated.

Hemorrhage: A slight bit of bleeding after surgery is normal in most cases. If you bandage becomes very bloody and appears to be dripping with blood however, you may be dealing with a hemorrhage.

If this is the case you need to see your doctor or get to the emergency room immediately. If you don’t do this chances are good that you could bleed to death. It is very important that on the way to the emergency room you apply constant pressure to the wound to slow the bleeding.

Blood Clots: You may have a clot in you leg if you start to experience a pain that isn’t normal. Clots that you get after surgeries can lead to strokes, heart attacks, and pulmonary embolism. Each of these three is life threatening situations. You must immediately see your doctor.

Nerve Complications: When you have a surgical procedure performed on a limb, you could develop nerve complications. These arise by swelling or a clot that is on the nerve. This is not an emergency situation but it is necessary that you see your doctor for treatment.

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